Mereka menyangkaku baik, padahal aku sama sekali tidak punya kebaikan,
Aku sebenarnya hanyalah hamba yang zalim seperti yang Engkau saksikan!
Engkau telah menyembunyikan seluruh keburukanku dari mata mereka,
Dan Engkau telah menganugerahkanku pakaian indah yang menutupinya.

Kerananya mereka mencintaiku, padahal aku tidak layak dicinta,
Mereka menyerupakanku dengan orang lain yang memang layak dicinta.
Kerana itulah pada Hari Kiamat jangan kuak kesalahanku,
Dan di Hari Pengumpulan, wahai Tuhanku, tutupilah keburukanku.

Syair Arab, diambil dari buku “Mensufikan Salafi dan Mensalafikan Sufi”, Dr Yusuf Al-Qardhawi

English Translation
The think well of me, when the truth is that I have only sins to show,
I am but an unthankful slave as only You would know.
You hid all my sins and made it blind to their sight,
And adorn me with beautiful clothes; my sins they hide.

It is because of that they love me, when love I don’t deserve,
They compared me to those who truly, verily, deserve their love.
For that, on the Day of Judgement, please don’t reveal all the wrongs I have done,
And on the Day of Gathering, O Robb, please cover my sins, every single one.

And truly…. this is how I feel about myself. Please stop sending me messages or emails that you wish to be like me, because truly even my friends dont know me, and what more do you when you have not even seen me in real life? I know you guys mean well, and I appreciate the kind, kind words.. But I don’t deserve them, really, really.

I wish, I try so hard, so so hard, to be like the exact embodiment of the ‘ilm I share but wallahi I am finding it difficult and at these moments I feel like there is something just terribly wrong with me; something wrong with my heart, in my imaan, in every single thing that I am doing.

Hence, all I really, really need from you is your du’a, so I can pick myself up and continue writing and sharing for the sake of Allah, insyaAllah.

Jazakallah khayr…